I’ve finally reached my first 6 months long beard and I think it’s time to write some kind of report on what it feels like to live with long hair on my face. The timing feels right as it is november/movember/no shave november or whatever you want to call it.
Beards are kind of a trend at the moment, which is good and bad at the same time in my opinion. It’s nice that it becomes more accepted by people but seeing too much can also kill the appeal.
For my part, I’m not growing it to follow anyone or anything, as far as I remember I have always liked beards, it probably comes from the fact that I have never seen my father’s clean shaven face. By the time I finally got the courage to let it grow past a few weeks, everyone was already doing it.
Before starting I’d like to make clear that I’m not part of any gang or group nor am I a religion extremist that would make it “acceptable” to have a big beard, I just do it for the love of the beard. Be also advised that I’ll talk about my own feelings as a sensitive men, most men won’t feel the same because they are probably less sensitive.
Society’s pressure
Most non-bearded people seem to consider beard growing as a sign of laziness, from my own experience it is harder to grow a beard than to shave it frequently. Why I’m saying that? Feeling people judging you everyday for being “different” is pretty hard, especially when this difference can easily be erased by spending a few minutes in front of a mirror with a razor. I’m always juggling with the “Should I keep it or shave it?” question. Having a pretty girl telling you that you look way better without it hits the ego quite hard too. People keep telling me that I’ll have a hard time finding a job, it’s probably true for most customer service jobs, like it’s the case for people with visible tattoos and piercings. From what I know, open minded people still exist so it may be longer to find a job while having a great beard but not impossible.
The beard VS other accessories
Have you ever seen someone showing his/her new tattoo or piercing to a friend and getting a response like “I think you looked better without it!”? I personnally haven’t ever seen this, because people try to be polite, yet I get that kind of reply for my beard. Since when does injecting ink under your skin or inserting metal pieces in it got better accepted by society than letting some hairs NATURALLY grow on your face? People should at least accept the beard as an accessory to your face, women have makeup, men have beards.
Hobo VS ordinary guy
Everytime I see a hobo I always ask myself “Does my beard makes me look like a homeless guy?”. I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t. Having a beard is only one feature of many needed to look like a bum. As long as it is kept clean and so is the rest of your body and clothes, chances are low that someone will mistake you for a hobo.
Guys VS girls
Guys seem to accept my bearded face more easily, I feel like some respect me for having it. In the first few months they seemed to think my beard was nice, but now that it is finally long enough to start getting away from my face’s shape, most of them want me to shave.
Girls just don’t like it as soon as it quits the “stubble” stage (from my experience at least). They see it as completely unaesthetic.
From the two sides I have heard the “You’ll never find a girlfriend if you don’t shave” argument quite often. I’m not really sure about this one because I have never been the kind of guy that attracted girls in the first place, whether I was bearded or not, so I haven’t seen any difference yet. I like to think that my beard is a “dumb girl filter”, if a girl focuses more on the beard than the person behind it, I prefer to keep away from her anyway. For those who say that the first impression is really important I say that I am willing to take the risk of giving a bad impression to stay true to myself.
Beyond the look
For me, a beard is more than just hairs on my face. It’s a matter of self confidence, to hold tight on my goals even if 95% of people don’t want me to do it. It’s about patience and persistance, just like getting in shape or climbing up the career ladder. It is part of becoming a better human being. I also get some kind of confidence boost from having a beard on my face, I don’t know exactly what’s creating that feeling, maybe it’s the feeling of looking good or being authentic (from my point of view). I guess we can compare it to getting fake boobs, the accessory itself doesn’t magically elevate the person’s confidence level but she still feels like she has more of it because of the accessory. It feel like I’m a more complete person with it, that’s all.
Drawing attention
Of course I don’t ask every stranger if my beard has caught their attention but I can guess it easily by the look on their face. I feel like people notices me more with a beard than they were when I was an ordinary clean-shaved guy. I’m an introvert so I’m not really asking for attention but it feels good to get noticed sometimes.
I have a good sense of humour so people naturally tell jokes on me, now most jokes are about my beard. Sadly it doesn’t take long to notice that the same jokes come over and over again.
Mirrors
For me growing a beard is like getting bigger muscles, I can’t stop looking at it everytime I’m near a mirror. Seeing a change in length gives me the same satisfaction as having some muscle gain, it just feels good.
Eating
Eating is normally an easy job, now try eating with a mustache and a beard. Ben Parker once said: “With great mustache comes great food absortion” or something like that. Pretty much any food touching it will stay in it. It can get really embarassing when eating a burger or peanut butter. At least this can be easily avoided by the use of extra napkins. I chose not to trim my mustache for a while because it would make it thicker, once it got over my top lip it started curling up (I didn’t expect that) so I kept it this way. It still catches everything though, I get the taste of what it is to be a ginger when I put Sriracha in my meal. I could easily live without having to chew on mustache after taking a bite and getting hairs caught between my teeth though.
Water magnet
Forgetting to dry your beard after showering means having water dripping from your chin until you decide to go back to the bathroom and dry it properly.
Taking care of it
I never really cared about combing my hair but I do it everyday for my beard, I must do it while under the shower or else the comb gets caught in my steel wool hair.
Should you grow a beard?
Well if you are a woman, probably not (but who am I to tell you what to do?), but for men the only way to know is to try it!
How not to crumble under pressure to shave
Here is some tricks I found to keep my motivation and not shave my beard:
- Defining a length/time goal (6 months or 6 inches or long enough to make a braid out of it, etc)
- Trimming it to even it or to make it fit your face more (watch out for that because you may also slow the growth thereby)
- Taking care of it so it looks good (grooming, combing, washing, etc)
- Find a person (or several) to take as a model (a bearded guy that you want to look like)
- Follow beard pages on social networks (so you get motivation from their posts and followers)
- Take progress pictures to follow the growth (by looking at these photos you’ll see how far you’ve gone and the time it will take to come back to the same point after shaving)
Last words
My experience in beard growing is pretty tough up to now as almost no one else but me wants me to keep it. It also confirms that I’m on the right path to be who I really want to be, me. So for the guys thinking about growing one or struggling to keep the razor away I’ll say the same thing as I would say for any kind of life goals, do it for yourself. If that makes you happy then f*** what others think of it.