Tag: Freedom

Creativity should not be forced

Are you just doing an okay job most of the time even if you seem to put a lot of effort in your work? Then maybe you’re not doing it the way you should. Like maybe you’re not working in the right context to just do a great job naturally. Let me give you an example:

I’ve have been working as a computer programmer for about 5 years but never got really fulfilled by what I accomplished during that time. Most of the time I just seemed to do what they expected of me, without any kind of special appeal or any touch of creativity. I started my own company in hope that I could find clients with whom I could work on my own terms but after about a year I finally gave up after seeing that I didn’t find anyone to work with and also after understanding that I really had no interest in doing that. I finally decided that I don’t want a career in IT anymore but I still continue to work on some personal projects for my own pleasure/interest. What I found is that I get a lot more satisfied by my work now that I do it for myself and that I have total freedom over what I’m doing. I’m not trying to stick to somebody’s vision, I’m just creating new things for myself, I have fun doing it and I have no deadlines, I just take the time I need.

Some would say that it’s easier to create something if someone imposes on you a theme/subject and a deadline, while I agree with that, I think that you would get a more “true”/meaningfull/interesting result if you create something in total freedom. It will definitely be harder because you have no base to stand on, but the end result will surely have something unique and satisfying for you.

Karma

Do you believe in karma? I’m talking about the fact that your acts, whether they’re good or bad, will be reflected back at you someday. I never really thought about it before but I seem to have lived the perfect example of it in the last few months.

A few years ago I had a girlfriend which had a more spiritual way of living than what I was able to understand at the moment. She was doing what she loved (drawing) and just being happy about her simple way of living. She didn’t have a job, so she didn’t have a lot of money too but it didn’t seem to be a problem for her. Being what I was at the moment I pushed her to find a “real” job and be a “normal” person (from society’s point of view). She finally left me later for various reasons that I’m not going to talk about now but what’s important here is that I tried to change that person to something that I thought was better at the moment.

Two years later I’m at the same place as she was at the time and that I couldn’t understand. I don’t have a steady job no more and I franckly don’t care, I do the minimum I need just to have a place to live and some food on the table. I get pressure from family and friends who can’t understand that I’m not wasting 40h+ on a soul-crushing job every week for money. I take long walks alone, I read books, I play video games, I go to the gym, I spend time with my friends, I learn new things and that’s all I need. Of course I can’t buy a nice car or other kinds of luxury but I found my life to be less stressful in general and richer since I have more time to deal with all kind of situations. A friend can ask me for help for a few days on some random work or I can just enjoy nature’s beauty while climbing a mountain instead of rushing it to come back home. I also have time to think about myself and about how I can become a better human being. That’s a lot of things I wouldn’t do if I worked 5 days a week and sat on the couch the two other days because of mental exhaustion.

It took almost two years for karma to hit me, while I regret forcing a lifestyle on someone else I’m still happy to have finally understood what it is all about. It’s the closer to freedom I have ever been in my life and I have no plan on giving up this lifestyle.

Before judging someone, try looking at life from their angle, maybe you’ll get a better view from there.

Final note: I have no idea if the girl in question will ever read this but thank you for teaching me so much things about the “real” way of living. Too bad it took me so much time to realize it.